We all use the term “weird” but we rarely consider what actually makes someone or something deserve the weirdness label. What makes something weird? Check various dictionaries for weird, and you’ll find synonyms like “strange”, “unusual” and “unexpected”. We all have social norms and expectations for behavior which influence how we view unconventional behavior.
We humans prefer predictable behaviors, and tend to react negatively to those who don’t align with our established norms.
But it’s important to remember that behavior we see as weird is not inherently bad. It can instead be seen as different or unique and a demonstration of courage and independent thinking. In reframing our view of what’s weird, we can begin to embrace differences and facilitate new ways of thinking, encouraging others to be their unique selves.
Many exciting, impressive, and necessary changes throughout history have resulted from people going against the grain and being brave enough to refuse to conform to social norms.
But what about kids and weirdness? Children are less attuned to social norms and expectations than adults and most often learn behaviors from their families. Consequently, the way parents react to their children plays a significant role in their willingness to embrace their own weirdness or different ways of thinking and seeing the world.
Parents are naturally protective, so it’s inevitable that they’ll worry about how others perceive their children’s behavior. By reframing your kids' “weirdness” as a strength, you can help their uniqueness and individuality to be embraced.
Embracing Weirdness
Perhaps your child dresses or speaks differently from their peers. Instead of viewing this as a problem that needs fixing, try to characterize their uniqueness as a strength – they are independent and bold. Being viewed by others as weird can be isolating, but thinking differently or being interested in unusual things actually demonstrates their ability to think outside the box.
Rather than responding with, "Don’t do that; it’s weird," look for a shared understanding. What makes them want to do something different? Be curious and inquisitive. Parents are perpetual models for behavior, including the ways in which they respond to differences. By embracing each child’s uniqueness, parents will teach children to value independence – their own and that of others.
If you spend more time learning about your child's thoughts and views that are different from others, you create an opportunity to help them identify their unique strengths. Recognize what might be viewed as weird by others and then spend time thinking about why. Might it signify something positive about the different ways in which your child views and interacts with their world?
When I was a young girl, I often differed from my peers and I remember my parents saying, "She has a mind of her own and isn’t afraid to share it." That messaging early in life helped me embrace independent thinking and see the value in sharing my views on issues, even when they differed from others.
Had my parents told me to do what everyone else was doing, I might not have joined certain clubs or groups in college or pursued a Ph.D. program and a non-traditional career path.
In embracing their child’s weirdness, my parents helped me to become more resilient and confident in my unique identity.
The Wizard of Odd
A child’s ability to think independently from others is a strength in itself. In focusing solely on conforming to all behavioral norms to avoid being viewed as “different”, you may actually silence their views or thoughts later in life – perspectives and opinions that might one day lead to a positive change or accomplishments. Being different by acting weirdly or doing something unusual takes courage. It is far easier to adapt to norms and prescriptive ways of behaving based on cultural expectations than it is to push back.
In daring to be different, your weirdly wonderful child will be empowered to try new endeavors, and ultimately, with confidence gained through parental support, be more willing to share their views freely to spark intellectual conversation. Because they think differently, they could become effective problem-solvers. Those who can contemplate or view things differently are often better able to problem-solve and leverage their creative thinking.
Whether it is wearing mismatched socks, choosing to play football instead of joining a dance class with everyone else or being interested in rocks or certain comic book characters, embracing behaviors that might be viewed as unusual by others can have positive, lasting effects – not only for them but for those around them. In being more accepting of their own differences, they are better equipped to accept weirdness in others.
Weirdness is powerful and should be embraced. You never know: if you embrace your kid's differences now, they might just one day change the world.
