I run a media company. I’m a career firefighter. I’m a father. I’ve got side hustles, deadlines, and more ideas than hours. So, yeah – I make lists. Every day. They’re how I keep moving forward, how I track priorities, and how I create some kind of structure in a world that doesn’t slow down. But as much as those lists help me, they also hold weight. Not because of what’s on them, but because of what gets left behind when the day ends.
Sometimes, the list itself becomes the pressure. Not finishing everything starts to feel like a personal failure. I’ve been there. I know plenty of other firefighters who live there daily. And I get it – we’re high-functioning by nature. We come from trades, businesses, and backgrounds that teach us how to grind. But when the system we’re using to stay productive starts chipping away at how we feel about ourselves? That’s not a system worth keeping.
Redefining the Win
Breaking even, for me, has become something I actually aim for. It’s not just a fallback or an excuse. It’s the new win. It means I didn’t bleed out energy in a thousand directions. It means I didn’t crush myself with unrealistic expectations. It means I held the line and still have enough in the tank for tomorrow. That’s not losing. That’s clarity.
And clarity doesn’t come from chasing balance. It comes from finding rhythm. Rhythm is what allows me to break even in the first place. It’s not about making everything equal, it’s about staying in motion without burning out. I’ve learned how to let some things wait, how to give more where it counts, and how to recover in real time without guilt.
When my kids come home from school and say their day was “fine,” I take that as a gift. It means they didn’t get their hearts broken. They didn’t fail a test. They weren’t wrecked by someone else’s bad day. They left the house whole and came back the same way. That’s what breaking even looks like when it really matters.
The Power of Neutral
And the older I get, the more I see the value in those quiet, neutral days. Not every day has to be a story. Not every day needs to feel like a breakthrough. Some days just need to hold. And those are the days I appreciate most, because they leave me space. Space to reset. Space to recover. Space to go again.
We glorify momentum, but we forget how powerful neutral is. Neutral means I’m not losing ground. It means the next decision is still mine to make. And if you give someone like me half a chance from a level playing field? I’ll turn cream into butter.
So yeah, I still make lists. But I don’t let them define my worth. If I didn’t get to it all today, I’ll get to it tomorrow. I’ll keep showing up. I’ll keep creating. And I’ll keep making room for the days that feel like nothing special – because I know they’re actually everything.
Those are my favorite days – especially the ones where I broke even.
Kory Pearn is a career firefighter and captain; and the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of CRACKYL Magazine.
