We hear a lot of talk about mental health these days, and rightfully so. This is not just a fire service issue; it affects every corner of society. Increased awareness, open conversations, and reduced stigma are all positive steps forward. One of the most common phrases we hear, and one I have used many times myself, is, “It is OK to not be OK.” While this phrase is helpful for supporting someone who is struggling, for leaders, there is a critical second part. It needs to be followed up with action. Without action, it becomes an empty statement.
The real message for leaders is: It is OK to not be OK — but only if you are doing something about it.
This point was driven home during a recent Zoom meeting, when we discussed the phrase, “It is OK to not be OK.” The conversation covered leadership roles and responsibilities. The conversation then shifted to the importance of the second part of the equation for leaders. While I had heard the second part before, I had never fully reflected on or written about it until now.
The Missing Second Half of the Message
As it often does, it comes back to leadership and that fact leadership matters.
The second part of that statement is too often left out: “but only if you are doing something about it.”
That small addition completely changes the meaning. It shifts the focus from passive acknowledgment to purposeful and intentional action. It reminds us that recognizing struggle is only the first step. Real care requires action and accountability. Without that, our words risk becoming hollow.
Leadership Requires Action, Not Just Empathy
This distinction is critical for leaders. Leadership is offering comfort with responsibility. We cannot simply acknowledge that someone is struggling and then walk away. If we truly care about our members’ health and well-being, we must pair compassion with action. Saying “it is OK” opens the door, but helping people walk through it is where leadership truly lives.
The fire service has always been a profession of action. We run toward problems, not away from them. We train relentlessly, we prepare, we put in the sets and reps, and we take responsibility for our brothers and sisters on the fireground. Mental health is no different. If a firefighter is struggling, the answer cannot stop at empathy alone. Leadership support must be action-oriented, not just words. That means investing in education, peer support programs, counseling resources, leadership training, and organizational partnerships that expand reach and effectiveness.
Leadership matters. When leaders invest time, funding, and personal involvement in their members’ well-being, it sends a clear message that mental wellness is a priority.
Building a Culture Where Seeking Help Is Normal
Doing something about it also means creating an environment where asking for help is normal, before a crisis. It means building systems that catch problems early instead of waiting for someone to need help. It means teaching firefighters to recognize warning signs in themselves and others, and to act.
Yes, for someone struggling, it is OK to not be OK today. However, for leaders, what we do next defines who we are as leaders and as a profession. Real support requires action, accountability, and sustained commitment, because in the fire service, caring is proven not by what we say, but by what we do.
